miss him a lot...

i do really miss the guy that i loves a lot.. recently, we didn't chat with each other anymore even though i can see him on msn or facebook. although both of us do online on msn or facebook for several hours, we didn't even chat with each other at all. it seems like everything has changed. both of us not like the previous time can chat with each other during midnight till the next morning anymore.. during the previous time, both of us really have a lot of things 2 talks about n it can seems like never ending stories. both of us can talks about everything such as, interest, family backgrounds, our favorite food, our admirer, hobbies n so much more 2 talks about. i do really happy can chat with him everyday n he always do really cares 4 me a lot. when i post something that i feels sad in my msn or faceboook, he will immediately ask me what has happened 2 me n i can feels that he do really cares 4 me a lot. when i'm sad, he will always besides me n comforts me. for example, he will teach me 2 write out all my sad things n save it. then he said when i read it, i will feel funny. therefore, i follow what he said n do what he has taught me 2 do by writing out all my sad things n then read it. i do really feel funny after i've read the things that i write out n i will also feels more relieve after i've write out all my sad things. it's because he teaches me 2 do this that's y i just started 2 create a blog n write out all my feelings when i'm sad. i do really wanted 2 thank him a lot 4 always taking care about me. unfortunately, recently, our relationship is not that close like the previous time anymore. i don't know what has happened between 2 of us n i really don't want this 2 happen. is it because i didn't cares 4 him or is it because of my attitude that has make him become frustrated with me? if it is my fault, i do really wanted 2 apologize 2 him n wish he can forgive me. i really wanted 2 tell me that I LOVE HIM so much n i really miss him a lot. everyday, every night, every minute, every second, i also miss him... i really can't stop myself from not miss him.. i really wanted 2 chat with him but i'm scare because i scare that I'll said the wrong things n maybe cause him angry with him. that is y i don't know what we can talks about. i really wish that he can can chat with me or he can greet me. i scare 2 chat with him cause i scare later i'll disturb him. i also scare 2 be hurts 4 the second time because previously i also loves a guy before but that guy did not love me at all. all the while that guy is just treat me as his friend n there is nothing more than that. every time it is me the only person who started 2 chat with him n he will never start chat with me. therefore, i feels that my love 4 him was unrequited n i do really festered. i have loved that guy 4 about 6 years n finally i have decided 2 give up. then, i met another guy that now i'm still loving him. this guy is the guy that i mentioned above that i'm miss him a lot. last time our relationship was really good but recently our relationship was not as good as the previous time anymore. i don't know what has happened. i do really very festered. i really don't 1 this 2 to happened but i really don't know what 2 do because i've hurt once n i don't 1 2 be hurt again. i do really scare 2 be hurts again. that's y i'm scare 2 chat with him anymore. i scare i'll be like the last time my love was unrequited. unless he chat with me n i will chat with him again. but i really can't control myself from not being chat with me anymore. i really wanted 2 chat with me n i do really wanted 2 cares 4 me. i wanted 2 tell him i really miss him a lot cause it has been very very long time we didn't chat with each other anymore...